Not quite a letter to my 16 year old self, but a twist on that theme. I was wondering over the weekend what my 16 year old self would think of my 39-going-on-40 self if she met me now.
Setting the scene. I was a very academic, studious, conscientious 16 year old who was only just beginning to start flexing her need for independence. I recall asking to attend a party and being told "no, you are too young" and having that inevitable discussion which included such erudite rebuttal points such as "all the other girls my age go to parties" and ending with me making the ever-accurate observation on parental decisions "you're mean!" along with the astute prediction "you're ruining my life."
16-year-old Tash was also just discovering music outside my ever-present classical piano influences and the very hip "Hooked On Classics" and the yodelling songstress Mary Schneider, and was discovering that I was truly, madly, deeply in love with live music.
My tastes had not yet stretched as far as the edgier end of the musical spectrum, with my first live concert being "Bros!" but I was well on my way to the current version of the eclectic music lover you know and love now.
My 16 year old self was quite awkward and self-conscious about her appearance. While "boys" didn't yet hold her attention, she was also acutely aware that she wasn't necessarily a direct target of "boys" either. It was an easy-going relationship for the most part. With a healthy dose of "why would anyone bother?" which possibly made my parents' lives much easier than my more boy-conscious peers.
So what would my 16 year old self think of me now?
I think there would be a fair amount of awe at where I live. I had lived all my life in the suburbs and was a frequent flyer to the city cinema strip most weekends, back when a movie and snacks would only cost $10. I had no reservation watching movies on my own back then, and I would wander through the city like I owned it. I used to crave the city lifestyle, so to see my ultimate dream of living there in a pretty fabulous apartment would make my 16 year old Tash go "wow, I can't wait to grow up!"
My interests, hobbies and outings would also make for an impressive show. She would have been green with envy with the amount of music shows, theatre, festivals and other outings I make each year.
She would not have seen the career path at all, having been wedded to the idea of being a doctor "when I grow up"... however a work experience stint with a GP and an anaesthetist was starting to put doubts in my mind about this conviction. I was still constantly scribbling away in my journal, so the fact I am now an Editorial Director would not be so far out of her conception.
And the "Dear diary" factor of blogging would also generate a nod from her.
She would be very much concerned that she would one day be as large as I am now, she was already self conscious about her weight. I'd like to say that might spark her up to be much more self confident in her body, to hear that she is actually viewed as a bit of a minx in her older age, and that it's just not all that necessary to be a stick thin size 10 to be noticed or worthy of attention. Perhaps it might even make her more relaxed about the whole thing, and stave off the inevitable yo-yo dieting cycle that I started and never got off.
I think we would have different ideas about my appearance - while I know that I still look quite young, to all young people anyone older than 30 appears "old", so we may not see eye to eye on that one!
But these are all superficial things. What do I think my 16 year old self would think about me, my outlook, what wisdom I have to share with her? I hate to say that she would probably have taken it all with a grain of salt and gone ahead and "done it her (my) way" anyways. Atta girl ;)
Would she listen to the difficulties I have been through and taken heart, or would it have discouraged her to love with everything she had? I can't tell, so I probably wouldn't tell her any of that. But my hard won wisdom would be shared, especially the knowledge that mum and dad love her very much and that although she feels so very misunderstood and alone right now, that they will always be there for her, and that she is very lucky to have such a rock solid start in life.
But... most important of all.... she would shake her head in disbelief at the revelation that 39-soon-to-be-40 Tash is a fan of Project Runway..... fashion? Are you for real, old lady?
Pffffft...
Setting the scene. I was a very academic, studious, conscientious 16 year old who was only just beginning to start flexing her need for independence. I recall asking to attend a party and being told "no, you are too young" and having that inevitable discussion which included such erudite rebuttal points such as "all the other girls my age go to parties" and ending with me making the ever-accurate observation on parental decisions "you're mean!" along with the astute prediction "you're ruining my life."
16-year-old Tash was also just discovering music outside my ever-present classical piano influences and the very hip "Hooked On Classics" and the yodelling songstress Mary Schneider, and was discovering that I was truly, madly, deeply in love with live music.
My tastes had not yet stretched as far as the edgier end of the musical spectrum, with my first live concert being "Bros!" but I was well on my way to the current version of the eclectic music lover you know and love now.
My 16 year old self was quite awkward and self-conscious about her appearance. While "boys" didn't yet hold her attention, she was also acutely aware that she wasn't necessarily a direct target of "boys" either. It was an easy-going relationship for the most part. With a healthy dose of "why would anyone bother?" which possibly made my parents' lives much easier than my more boy-conscious peers.
So what would my 16 year old self think of me now?
I think there would be a fair amount of awe at where I live. I had lived all my life in the suburbs and was a frequent flyer to the city cinema strip most weekends, back when a movie and snacks would only cost $10. I had no reservation watching movies on my own back then, and I would wander through the city like I owned it. I used to crave the city lifestyle, so to see my ultimate dream of living there in a pretty fabulous apartment would make my 16 year old Tash go "wow, I can't wait to grow up!"
My interests, hobbies and outings would also make for an impressive show. She would have been green with envy with the amount of music shows, theatre, festivals and other outings I make each year.
She would not have seen the career path at all, having been wedded to the idea of being a doctor "when I grow up"... however a work experience stint with a GP and an anaesthetist was starting to put doubts in my mind about this conviction. I was still constantly scribbling away in my journal, so the fact I am now an Editorial Director would not be so far out of her conception.
And the "Dear diary" factor of blogging would also generate a nod from her.
She would be very much concerned that she would one day be as large as I am now, she was already self conscious about her weight. I'd like to say that might spark her up to be much more self confident in her body, to hear that she is actually viewed as a bit of a minx in her older age, and that it's just not all that necessary to be a stick thin size 10 to be noticed or worthy of attention. Perhaps it might even make her more relaxed about the whole thing, and stave off the inevitable yo-yo dieting cycle that I started and never got off.
I think we would have different ideas about my appearance - while I know that I still look quite young, to all young people anyone older than 30 appears "old", so we may not see eye to eye on that one!
But these are all superficial things. What do I think my 16 year old self would think about me, my outlook, what wisdom I have to share with her? I hate to say that she would probably have taken it all with a grain of salt and gone ahead and "done it her (my) way" anyways. Atta girl ;)
Would she listen to the difficulties I have been through and taken heart, or would it have discouraged her to love with everything she had? I can't tell, so I probably wouldn't tell her any of that. But my hard won wisdom would be shared, especially the knowledge that mum and dad love her very much and that although she feels so very misunderstood and alone right now, that they will always be there for her, and that she is very lucky to have such a rock solid start in life.
But... most important of all.... she would shake her head in disbelief at the revelation that 39-soon-to-be-40 Tash is a fan of Project Runway..... fashion? Are you for real, old lady?
Pffffft...
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