Oh dear.
I knew the calm couldn't last.
I knew I'd need to shake myself up again from my Buddha-like state.
At least now I can recognise it.
It is coming as a slow itch.... to do something... be somewhere else... aspire to something I don't have.
It's manifesting in me looking over at other patches of grass, thinking, believing, they "have it better".
It's all bullshit, of course.
I have what so many crave - freedom. I should really enjoy it.
Still, I am looking at mummy blogs with envious eyes (nawwww such sweet kidlings..... REALLY Tash? You are thinking WHAT now?)
I am looking at foodie blogs (I really must do something MORE with my cooking ability)
I am looking longingly at fitness tweets (I really should "do" something else, like join the 12WBT program again, or another gym, or more boot camps..... honestly, Tash, this is getting old)
I am watching programs like Selling Houses Australia, thinking "I want to do that."
I am reading travel stories thinking "I really want to travel, live overseas.... yadda yadda yadda"
I am feeling dissatisfied with being pushed in my job (again) and thinking "why can't I just chuck it all in a be a hippie feral on the dole... just writing away my ideas.
Yup. It's that itch again. I have learned to both expect and dread it. It's that horrible itchy feeling in my head that keeps waking up the "dissatisfaction beast" within me, believing that I could be so much more... or so much less... or so much elsewhere... or so much something-else--other-than-where-I-am-right-in-this-present-moment.
Wake up, Tash. It's an illusion.
I knew the calm couldn't last.
I knew I'd need to shake myself up again from my Buddha-like state.
At least now I can recognise it.
It is coming as a slow itch.... to do something... be somewhere else... aspire to something I don't have.
It's manifesting in me looking over at other patches of grass, thinking, believing, they "have it better".
It's all bullshit, of course.
I have what so many crave - freedom. I should really enjoy it.
Still, I am looking at mummy blogs with envious eyes (nawwww such sweet kidlings..... REALLY Tash? You are thinking WHAT now?)
I am looking at foodie blogs (I really must do something MORE with my cooking ability)
I am looking longingly at fitness tweets (I really should "do" something else, like join the 12WBT program again, or another gym, or more boot camps..... honestly, Tash, this is getting old)
I am watching programs like Selling Houses Australia, thinking "I want to do that."
I am reading travel stories thinking "I really want to travel, live overseas.... yadda yadda yadda"
I am feeling dissatisfied with being pushed in my job (again) and thinking "why can't I just chuck it all in a be a hippie feral on the dole... just writing away my ideas.
Yup. It's that itch again. I have learned to both expect and dread it. It's that horrible itchy feeling in my head that keeps waking up the "dissatisfaction beast" within me, believing that I could be so much more... or so much less... or so much elsewhere... or so much something-else--other-than-where-I-am-right-in-this-present-moment.
Wake up, Tash. It's an illusion.
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