Happiness is a state of mind.
What does this actually mean? I've spent the last half a decade trying to nut that sentence out in a practical sense.
What usually influences our state of mind? Normally, it's where we live, our lifestyle, our relationships, our possessions, our holidays, our careers, our goals.
But...
Happiness is not a location - that's geography.
Happiness is not having cool stuff - that's possession.
Happiness is not a career - that's occupation.
Happiness is not a relationship - that's co-dependence (if it's unhealthy) or inter-dependence (if it's healthy) or community (if it's not a personal relationship).
Happiness is not a lifestyle - that's an illusion.
Happiness is not money - that's security.
Happiness is not holidays - that's leisure.
Happiness is not goals - that's achievement.
All of these things can have an affect on your happiness as they affect your state of mind when you assign value to them and then compare what you have to your perceived ideal life, but they are not, in themselves, bearers of happiness.
These things come down to what you value in life. Is that money, love, security, achievement, location, occupation or leisure? Once you acknowledge and understand what value you assign to these things you can then start to unlock what affects your state of mind, and therefore happiness levels.
Looking at the first sentence again, there is a keyword in it that often gets overlooked.
State
What state your mind is in determines happiness. I can have exactly the same set of circumstances yesterday that I have today, on the laundry list above. But one day I can feel happy and the next, unhappy. It can be as simple as coming into contact with someone who is at a stage of life that I think I should be at, and all of a sudden my mind makes a value judgement "why them and not me?" and instantly sets up a basis for discontentment. It can be a trigger or just a mood or maybe a chemical reaction within my body that sets it off. I can choose to re-balance this through being aware of my thoughts, adjusting my mood, or taking medication if I have a more serious and ongoing issue with the chemical imbalance within my brain.
I also believe happiness is a choice, You can choose to view your circumstances as affecting your overall quality of life, and be happy anyway, whether those meet your set of ideals or not. Or you can choose to view your circumstances as not meeting your ideals, and try and change a few of those.
Or you can choose to simplify your quest for happiness by reprogramming your values on the lists of things you think make you happy, and de-emphasise their impact on your happiness by bringing your awareness back to your state of mind in any situation. That's what I have chosen to do in many cases where I find myself very unhappy, and it usually works.
What does this actually mean? I've spent the last half a decade trying to nut that sentence out in a practical sense.
What usually influences our state of mind? Normally, it's where we live, our lifestyle, our relationships, our possessions, our holidays, our careers, our goals.
But...
Happiness is not a location - that's geography.
Happiness is not having cool stuff - that's possession.
Happiness is not a career - that's occupation.
Happiness is not a relationship - that's co-dependence (if it's unhealthy) or inter-dependence (if it's healthy) or community (if it's not a personal relationship).
Happiness is not a lifestyle - that's an illusion.
Happiness is not money - that's security.
Happiness is not holidays - that's leisure.
Happiness is not goals - that's achievement.
All of these things can have an affect on your happiness as they affect your state of mind when you assign value to them and then compare what you have to your perceived ideal life, but they are not, in themselves, bearers of happiness.
These things come down to what you value in life. Is that money, love, security, achievement, location, occupation or leisure? Once you acknowledge and understand what value you assign to these things you can then start to unlock what affects your state of mind, and therefore happiness levels.
Looking at the first sentence again, there is a keyword in it that often gets overlooked.
State
What state your mind is in determines happiness. I can have exactly the same set of circumstances yesterday that I have today, on the laundry list above. But one day I can feel happy and the next, unhappy. It can be as simple as coming into contact with someone who is at a stage of life that I think I should be at, and all of a sudden my mind makes a value judgement "why them and not me?" and instantly sets up a basis for discontentment. It can be a trigger or just a mood or maybe a chemical reaction within my body that sets it off. I can choose to re-balance this through being aware of my thoughts, adjusting my mood, or taking medication if I have a more serious and ongoing issue with the chemical imbalance within my brain.
I also believe happiness is a choice, You can choose to view your circumstances as affecting your overall quality of life, and be happy anyway, whether those meet your set of ideals or not. Or you can choose to view your circumstances as not meeting your ideals, and try and change a few of those.
Or you can choose to simplify your quest for happiness by reprogramming your values on the lists of things you think make you happy, and de-emphasise their impact on your happiness by bringing your awareness back to your state of mind in any situation. That's what I have chosen to do in many cases where I find myself very unhappy, and it usually works.
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