Giving yourself the space to discover what you like, and more importantly what you don't like, is so important for someone like me, I've come to recognise.
Being an extreme rescuer means I have in the past subverted my own needs and likes and ignored my dislikes to the point that I get into very poor situations and make bad relationship decisions. Taking the time that I have taken to find "the right person" for me has been necessary.
I haven't always seen it this way, and now that I am I can see where others are at a similar stage I was a few years ago, when I thought the increasing length of time it was taking meant I was damaged goods, unworthy, unloveable and unable to partner again.
Now, I have a slightly different outlook. Sure, I still get lonely, and sure I get disappointed when a potential mate turns out to be not quite right for me or vice versa.... but I now have a little voice in the back of my mind that always always says now "it will only take one".
It will only take one. Once I meet him, it will be right, and both of us will feel it. There will be no push-pull. There will be no guilt, angst, drama, or obstacles to overcome. There will be no "test" as I have so often believed there needed to be to prove someone's love for me, and mine for them. It will be easy. We will be curious about each other, but not obsessive. There won't be that niggling gut feeling of nervousness that I usually have when I'm pursuing the wrong man or wrong situation. It will just feel right. We will share values and goals. It won't be a sacrifice for either of us to easily and effortlessly get together. We won't be second guessing ourselves or what others might think.
And if I don't meet him, then obviously the universe has something else, something bigger, and more satisfying in store for me.
I trust.
I believe.
I accept.
Being an extreme rescuer means I have in the past subverted my own needs and likes and ignored my dislikes to the point that I get into very poor situations and make bad relationship decisions. Taking the time that I have taken to find "the right person" for me has been necessary.
I haven't always seen it this way, and now that I am I can see where others are at a similar stage I was a few years ago, when I thought the increasing length of time it was taking meant I was damaged goods, unworthy, unloveable and unable to partner again.
Now, I have a slightly different outlook. Sure, I still get lonely, and sure I get disappointed when a potential mate turns out to be not quite right for me or vice versa.... but I now have a little voice in the back of my mind that always always says now "it will only take one".
It will only take one. Once I meet him, it will be right, and both of us will feel it. There will be no push-pull. There will be no guilt, angst, drama, or obstacles to overcome. There will be no "test" as I have so often believed there needed to be to prove someone's love for me, and mine for them. It will be easy. We will be curious about each other, but not obsessive. There won't be that niggling gut feeling of nervousness that I usually have when I'm pursuing the wrong man or wrong situation. It will just feel right. We will share values and goals. It won't be a sacrifice for either of us to easily and effortlessly get together. We won't be second guessing ourselves or what others might think.
And if I don't meet him, then obviously the universe has something else, something bigger, and more satisfying in store for me.
I trust.
I believe.
I accept.
No comments:
Post a Comment