Close encounters of the turd kind....

Dear bloggy friends,

I have jumped back into the online dating world with the vague hope that somehow, somewhere, sometime, my prince will come... I've been a lot more relaxed about it this time, no fanfare, no announcements, just schlepped up a profile and crossed fingers.

This whole next exchange illustrates the reason I am 100% certain, despite the fact that people keep encouraging me to get back into "the game", that online dating will not lead me to my man..... names are removed to protect the not-so-innocent... but this is the reason I can't stand online dating and the world of indignity that exists out there, especially when you are someone who is just trying to meet someone real.

This is what I have to deal with.

I received 2 kisses from "Goodtimeguy", and received the following email, cut and pasted in its entirety, no spellchecking or editing:

Hi Natasha

I'd love to meet you as you seem cool,cute and normal!
hate emailing ,usually more happy to talk on the phone and ill answer any and all questions that way,same deal with sitting at pc doing chat all day..boooring!!!!
so regarding my life-
I am 1 Year out of the 4 year relationship from hell and really just looking for fun-intelligent,thought provoking conversation always gets a big thumbs up!
My likes are varied,my profile is the tip of the iceberg as far as interests go , im a real upbeat,happy,funny dude who believes in karma bigtime:)
I am straightforward,not at all shy and confident without being cocky.Love sex,and really looking for some fun with no expectations.If something happens
above and beyond that great,if not all cool also.
Anyway,want to hear way more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My details are [deleted]
xxx M

Here was my response to him (unexpurgated):

Hey M,

Well, to be completely up front and honest with you, I've done the online dating game for about 5 years now, dipped in and out of it as and when the mood has taken me. In that time, I have developed a very good sense of what people really want (in other words I'm great at reading between the lines ;)

So, here's the thing, From your reply it looks like you are looking for some "fun".... I have been 5 years single now, previously was in a 9 year relationship, half of that time married. in the past 5 years I've done the "just looking for fun" thing, and right now I'm really not looking for that anymore. I have spent a lot of time developing my interests, confidence and happiness, and I am completely fulfilled and happy right now as a single woman, but what I am looking for is someone I share a connection with, can take that to a deeper friendship, and then hopefully blossom into a relationship. I am not looking for sex.... I have found I can get that pretty easily if I want, but it really leaves me unfulfilled if it's not preceded by something "real"...... I speak from years of experience here "M"!

So, if you are at a different place, that's fine, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking for a good time while you are exploring your single life after a 4 years relationship from hell.... but I would hazard a guess we may not be in the same space mentally?

Happy to catch up for coffee if you want, but I have heaps of friends I can catch up for coffee with, and that's not what I am looking for ;)

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

Cheers, Natasha 


Here is the email I received back from "M"

i started online dating in 01 so i have 10 years experience....
and yeah was in a rship for 4 yrs until 6 mths ago with someone i met at dancing and i only ever use the net for fun and mates , never really anything serious..
so up to you
x

My response:

Thanks but no thanks.

Good luck in your search :)

Cheers, Natasha

His final response:

628 women later as a sexaholic doubt i need luck but thanks :)

My final response:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!