To be or not to be

I love the movie What Dreams May Come... and I never realised its title came from the famous, beautiful and self-examining soliloquy from Shakespeare's Hamlet. The soliloquy examines the very nature of choosing a continued existence and how, in our darkest moments, we often question either consciously or unconsciously why we continue to battle the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."

For my 37th birthday this year I purchased for myself a gift. It was a black and white line painting of the death of Ophelia. It is both beautiful and disturbing, and each time I look at it I am reminded of how precious life is and how that decision to continue is such an important one.

William Shakespeare - To be, or not to be (from Hamlet 3/1)

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

I.R.L.

I have a wonderful concept for a sitcom. I won't divulge all the details here, cos, frankly, I want to monetise it (isn't that both a beautiful and horrible word at the same time... it incorporates the best and worst of creativity and word-hijacking I've seen to date, but I can't seem to avoid using it... or if I used my least favourite word EVER, "utilising" it.... GAH.... I appear to have digressed...)

So my sitcom idea is based on the concept that none of us have "real" lives anymore. We all seem to exist in cyber-space, and sometimes those identities merge with real life, other times they don't.

And the ensusing complications and hijinx that entails.

Ahhh.... what the world needs now... is another sitcom.

THERE IS A POINT TO THIS BLOG, WAIT FOR IT!

So, last night I met yet another friend "in real life" that I met via my online world, namely Twitter. My worlds had collided yet again. I love it when that happens. It is like a little mini-proof that I am not JUST a Netizen, but a real live human being that can still relate F2F (that's Face To Face for non-Netizens).

I recently did an audit of my Facebook friends, to see how many I met via online channels as opposed to real life meetings. Twenty. That's 20 friends I would not have met otherwise, as we live such distances from each other that we could ONLY have met online.

However, last night was different. Last night a met someone that appears to be the spitting image of me, metaphorically speaking. We both live in Surry Hills. We seem to share a brain, according to the comments we will simultaneously dish out at a rate of knots (we both LURVE talking). We share a similar vintage. We are both, as a mutual friend and cafe-owner insisted when he suggested we would get along "like a house on fire", faghags. We move in similar circles, in fact it was suggested last night that it's surprising we didn't have any friends in common on Facebook... a theory which proved only a degree of separation exists from that when she mentioned a friend who I have mutual friends with (am I losing you now, dear readers?)

Never mind. It all makes sense to me. The upshot is that our virtual worlds and real worlds are now colliding in ways that both surprise and terrify me. For someone who is both so willing to be 100% myself with anyone, and share to the point of over-sharing, I am also fiercely protective of my "real" information. The so-called "real" me. But... you have to wonder... has that already been taken from me with my long history of social networking use, which dates back to H2G2 days before it was owned by the BBC?

The perfect "non" relationship

I made a sly comment on my previous brief blog about having met someone special. I thought I should elaborate on that, as I realise that was the equivalent of a blog "hit and run"!

As you all know I have been waiting a very very long time to meet a special person. Someone who is, not necessarily perfect, but perfect for me.

So... he has finally come along. And to my complete surprise and delight, he is not at all interested in a traditional relationship, much in the same way that I am not, but compeletely understands intimacy (emotional as well as...), mutual respect and support.

I once wrote about this on a former blog, which detailed my search for something real and meaningful, which didn't necessarily mean living in someone else's pockets 24/7. It spoke of my longing to meet someone who understood that we could both maintain separate, independent lives, but also have a close emotional bond built through mutual respect and interdependence.

And so it seems that this friendship has developed into something resembling my fantasy! Here is my Renaissance man (if he took it into his head to built a rocket and fly to the moon I have no doubts that he would), and he completely secure in himself to allow me to be myself, to be fabulous without worrying it will take something from him, to allow me to continue my scarily busy lifestyle I have become accustomed to without guilt, and come together when we both have chances in our schedules which we both agree feels like magic in every way.

And yet, neither of us feels the need to obsess, dominate or grasp at each other like there is no such thing as tomorrow. We text and call when we get the chance during our busy days. We catch up when we can. We sometimes take turns "staying over", but return to our very comfortable and happily separate residences when we have filled up with the happiness cup in each others' company.

I am looking forward to doing all the things we have talked about together. I am looking forward to the future again, which is amazing.

I thank the universe for delivering a wonderful partnership, or "match of equals", to me after such a long wait and after so many prayers.

Thank you.

Cobwebs? This blog haz dem

Long time, no blog. Lately things have been off-the-hook busy.

I was in Hong Kong last week, for one thing. It was great, but this week I face the piles of neglected work and clients.

I also am in a very good place right now. I have recently made a very special new friend which is lovely and unexpected.

I am happy.

Thanks for all your support of late, you know who you all are :)