VIDEO LAUNCH: Marrying Bipolar - What It's Like to Lose Someone to Suicide.

I am so so proud of this video. Almost prouder than getting my book published! This is a small snapshot of why writing this book was so important to me. While I explore all these themes of loss, denial, hopelessness, my own battles with depression and post traumatic stress disorder in greater detail within the book, actually speaking my truth has had such a powerful effect on me.

I was initially nervous about committing my thoughts to video, but I think the result is greater than I hoped it might be. We all deserve our voices to be heard, and I would like to thank my good friends Lyn Taylor, Nick Payne and Katie Garfoot for giving me such a wonderful and safe environment in which to voice mine.

xxx

Mumford & Sons

We have torrential rain in Sydney, and we are about to head out to see Mumford & Sons at The Domain....

But I have decided to dress up anyway!

I give you Exhibit A: outdoor live music ready to wear. Easy ponytail to avoid wet hair. Earphones with the band's latest tunes. Black obsidian necklace. Easy tunic featuring rustic folk pattern to suit both outdoors and M&S's brand of folk-inspired music. Rose quartz ring to display my lovin' 'tude towards the dude who bought these tickets for my 42nd birthday. Black thongs featuring glittery sides for both practical application in the wet, but also a nod to the glam outing (not shown).

Ready to rock! (and get wet)

Blog a day.... sometimes

I am not doing terribly well at this blog per day business. I am just going to call it and say I will try my best to post every day, but that may not happen all the time. Okay, even some of the time. Let me be very honest, I'm not great at follow through pretty much ALL of the time.

But I am trying, in my flawed human way, to be better. So like every other venture I have launched and then let fizzle, I am going to let myself off this hook this time, and promise "I will be better... I will try harder.... I will not try to be perfect and then stop doing what I love because I end up NOT being perfect."

Lotsa love to you if you are reading, and for me (who is writing this without the certainty that there is a "you" who is reading)
xxx

Au-jourd'hui Je suis Paris (aka sometimes gratitude is bloody hard)

Today the world woke up to terrible news. Multiple attacks on Paris, the city of love. Again the world wept and we asked "Why do these people exist?" We don't understand, we lash out at the wrong people, and many of us try and blame the victims for these awful events.

It's tough, under these circumstances, to find something to be grateful for. Being grateful for simply being halfway around the world from those who have been directly hit in these circumstances seems glib and rather selfish. Being grateful for those who help seems like we are trying too hard to find good in what is essentially good-less acts.

This meaningless loss of life and horror, all in the name of "my god is better than your god" is bloody horrible. And we should feel the horror.

Sometimes all we can do is keep these events in our hearts and minds and promise faithfully not to let evil beget evil.

Au-jourd'hui Je suis Paris.

Day trippin'

No post yesterday as I was TOO BLOODY BUSY HAVING A GREAT DAY!

Early morning start for a day trip out to the Blue Mountains. I considered it a privilege having an excuse to take my day off on a random Tuesday and be the one who shows off our fair assets to the west of our city to a visitor from the UK.

We had a wonderful day exploring the Everglades Gardens at Leura, where I took every opportunity to try out my new-found knowledge on the DSLR camera. It was a blast. We feasted upon Devonshire Tea (scones with jam, clotted cream and tea - diet be damned for a day!). And drank in the wonderful sunshine.



Next stop was Katoomba for the obligatory look at the 3 Sisters. I regaled my guest with the mythological origins of the story behind the rock formation, and we took a short hike out to Honeymoon Bridge, defying the steep stone stairs that were built by the Ranger Jim McKay back in god-knows-when! (EDIT: It was started in 1914, then had a break as the project was deemed too expensive - full story here )

We then did a little tourist inspired window shopping on the main street of Leura, which was delightful in itself. Just some of the wares I spotted on our travels are on my Instagram account.

When we finally got home in the evening, I then trotted off to my photography class to learn how to do night photography. We had a great time playing around with street lights, long exposures and painting with light. I'm going to have a lot of fun this week trying out the new skills!

The colour purple

Sydney in Spring is a veritable bower of jacarandas. The shade of purple is very specific, and very calming.

Today I was surrounded by the Colour Purple.


“I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it. People think pleasing God is all God cares about. But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back.”
― Alice Walker, The Color Purple

 

HeavenTweetBookGram

My boyfriend thinks I'm hilarious.

This morning, after hearing how I'd amused myself while he was at work, he said: "If I was in heaven I would totally follow you, and just check in every day to see what you were up to. I bet they're up there, randomly seeing what you do, and chuckling to themselves saying "funniest program ever.""

I like the thought of Heaven social media platform being able to "follow" humans down here.

*waves to Banny, Pop, Nan and Pa*

Female Ricky Gervais

This is me being happy - in top to toe horizontal stripes. They make me happy, so shut up :)

Don't go chasing waterfalls

We had glorious sunshine this morning.

Then this happened....

Umbrellas

I know I should be glad of the rain. But when I have to go out in it, still half ill, I don't get all "Singing in the Rain" about it.

And then I change my perspective...

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

They say that, cultural viewpoints aside, the human species has a fairly universal view of beauty.... despite race, religion, age or gender, we are all meant to be drawn towards symmetry, smooth skin, and markers of procreation's superiority.

However, I disagree somewhat with these findings. I have always been drawn to flawed beauty. And what I hold as beauty is not perfect symmetry or smoothness, but interesting features that tell a story about the individual. I love staring deeply into faces (photos mostly as in real life staring too hard into peoples' faces is a bit disconcerting... more on that  later); I love seeing peoples' souls reflected in their eyes; the markers of their lives on their faces and hands. I love noticing the tiny details about that person which makes them unique. I love sleuthing and deducing personalities, life moments and "feeling" their back stories.

Some have found it super spooky that I can tell almost immediately what is surrounding them, or what has transpired in their lives, simply from looking at them or a photo of them with others. It's simply deep intuition, the more meditation I did, the more I could intuit from that person.

I try not to do it these days, as I said it is somewhat disconcerting if that person has not invited such intense scrutiny.

When I was a young child (under 5), I used to do this instinctively, and I found myself drawn to older faces. My great aunt's face (grandmother's sister) in particular held such interest for me. Her face was weathered and deep-etched with lines, and I used to stare openly at her with a gaze which must have felt highly intrusive and embarrassing for her. Feeling very self-conscious about her appearance, she asked my mother to tell me to stop staring.

My mother took me aside and explained gently that "Auntie Mary doesn't like you staring at her face, she feels embarrassed". And apparently I said quite genuinely "But mum, I love her face, it's beautiful."

And these character-filled faces still are beautiful to me.

Photo credit: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/08/17-quotes-1-video-happy-old-age/