Warning: this blog is entirely tongue in cheek. If you ask me which cheek, I will merely grin and re-direct you to #9 on the list below.
I promised you tales of internet dating, stand-up comedy and random head thoughts.
This is a blog from behind Door Number 3.
It was triggered by a conversation I had this morning with my barista, who was nonplussed by an off-hand remark I made about being a “closeted gay man”.
Okay, I sense I am already confusing my readers and may need to back it up a little here. No pun intended. See? Already with the jokes.
Context: When a man starts chatting up a cute barista in a Surry Hills establishment, chances are he is of the mano-e-mano persuasion, and I am sure my gaydar was not off this morning as I assured my friend that he had definitely been cruised.
However, it cemented my realisation that, for some time, I have been closeted as a gay man, and that it’s time to emerge from the darkness and to wear my rainbow banner with pride.
Top 10 reasons why I could sometimes be mistaken as a gay man
1. I am clearly attracted to men (apologies to Brett, whose efforts to persuade me towards a life of Sapphic bliss, possibly for the benefit of entertaining him, have been met with stone cold indifference)
2. A large proportion of my inner circle are gay men
3. I know every showtune on the Broadway Top Hits of All Time
4. And can belt them out with flamboyance that would put Julian Clary to shame
5. I know who Julian Clary is
6. And most of his jokes
7. I have been involved in way too many conversations about “fancy love*” (a nod to Didey there, another closeted gay man if ever I met one…)
8. And have conversed loudly in public about it becoming an increasing trend
9. Double Entendre is my default conversation setting
Okay, so there were only 9 reasons. You will have to just toughen up, princess.
Oh yeah…
10. Underneath my very innocent, fresh-faced exterior lies the heart of a sarcastic bitch.
Any others that you can think of, feel free to add your own. I am sure others have been aware of my gay maleness for some time. Possibly even longer than myself.
*anal sex
I promised you tales of internet dating, stand-up comedy and random head thoughts.
This is a blog from behind Door Number 3.
It was triggered by a conversation I had this morning with my barista, who was nonplussed by an off-hand remark I made about being a “closeted gay man”.
Okay, I sense I am already confusing my readers and may need to back it up a little here. No pun intended. See? Already with the jokes.
Context: When a man starts chatting up a cute barista in a Surry Hills establishment, chances are he is of the mano-e-mano persuasion, and I am sure my gaydar was not off this morning as I assured my friend that he had definitely been cruised.
However, it cemented my realisation that, for some time, I have been closeted as a gay man, and that it’s time to emerge from the darkness and to wear my rainbow banner with pride.
Top 10 reasons why I could sometimes be mistaken as a gay man
1. I am clearly attracted to men (apologies to Brett, whose efforts to persuade me towards a life of Sapphic bliss, possibly for the benefit of entertaining him, have been met with stone cold indifference)
2. A large proportion of my inner circle are gay men
3. I know every showtune on the Broadway Top Hits of All Time
4. And can belt them out with flamboyance that would put Julian Clary to shame
5. I know who Julian Clary is
6. And most of his jokes
7. I have been involved in way too many conversations about “fancy love*” (a nod to Didey there, another closeted gay man if ever I met one…)
8. And have conversed loudly in public about it becoming an increasing trend
9. Double Entendre is my default conversation setting
Okay, so there were only 9 reasons. You will have to just toughen up, princess.
Oh yeah…
10. Underneath my very innocent, fresh-faced exterior lies the heart of a sarcastic bitch.
Any others that you can think of, feel free to add your own. I am sure others have been aware of my gay maleness for some time. Possibly even longer than myself.
*anal sex
I would like to point out that for a very, very, very long time I have been telling Tash that she is something of a... how to put this nicely... fag-hag. And now she has outed herself (ha! Gettit?!?!?) via point 2.
ReplyDeleteRe point 1 - we shall see, wee munchkin. I haven't given up yet :)
Re 7, I am going to quote Zap Brannigan:
"You look like a woman who appreciates the finer things in life. Come over here and feel my velour bedspread. "
Wait, wrong quote... Perhaps I should just paraphrase instead:
"[And] some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing"
i think i just died and went to comedy heaven... Jessica Simpson has a perfume called "Fancy Love"
ReplyDeleteI'm very happy to add another gay man to my ensemble :)
ReplyDelete