Watching Will and Grace...
What is the difference between having a gay male friend and a male (straight) friend who you are interested in, but isn't interested in you?
Why is it that I can have a friendship with one, but not the other?
Is it because there is no chance in hell of ending up in bed with the former? And that even though there is no real chance of a relationship with the latter, that there is always the real chance they will want to end up in bed with me at some point?
And the fact that this has happened and been the cause of real heartbreak in the past?
But, that aside. What is the real difference?
I'd like to know. Because in fact, there is no real future with either species, but I have had "fun" with both types... there has been heartbreak with both types (if you watch Will and Grace, you will understand what this equates to with the gay best friend... it's not that you harbour hopes of a real romantic relationship, just that often a gal's friendship with her gay best friend can sometimes be SO much more fulfilling and fun and wonderful and diverting than any liaison with a straight male....)
Sigh.
I sometimes cannot work out life. Or the universe. Or anything,
It's enough to drive a girl to atheism!
What is the difference between having a gay male friend and a male (straight) friend who you are interested in, but isn't interested in you?
Why is it that I can have a friendship with one, but not the other?
Is it because there is no chance in hell of ending up in bed with the former? And that even though there is no real chance of a relationship with the latter, that there is always the real chance they will want to end up in bed with me at some point?
And the fact that this has happened and been the cause of real heartbreak in the past?
But, that aside. What is the real difference?
I'd like to know. Because in fact, there is no real future with either species, but I have had "fun" with both types... there has been heartbreak with both types (if you watch Will and Grace, you will understand what this equates to with the gay best friend... it's not that you harbour hopes of a real romantic relationship, just that often a gal's friendship with her gay best friend can sometimes be SO much more fulfilling and fun and wonderful and diverting than any liaison with a straight male....)
Sigh.
I sometimes cannot work out life. Or the universe. Or anything,
It's enough to drive a girl to atheism!
Well firstly I love Wil and Grace!
ReplyDeleteThe answer is you can't be friends with a male straight friend that you are interested in , because you are interested in him. (I think) So it is more than friendship?? Is it? Oh I don't know perhaps when you lose interest in him you can be friends, but then often when you lose interest in him, he will then start being interested in you. Oh I don't know, I think it is very complex the friends with a guy thing...... stick to the gay boys and married dudes for friends. I'm not sure I even agree with my own opinion stated here, it just came out!
They say friendship is the basis for all great relationships, but what happens when the 'relationship' part finishes, I think all of us wish that the friendship part remains.
ReplyDeleteI think it changes too much when mixed feelings are involved.
I guess that's how you get closure so that when the "right" love/friendship comes along you have a clean slate to start anew....
Lately I haven't started my relationships with friendships... but when they end, they all want to remain "friends". I feel like, if I haven't had my needs met in the relationship in the first place and it didn't start with a friendship, that there IS no relationship.
ReplyDeleteIs that wrong?
I'll make sure that you're always lit with soft lighting and wearing gorgeous shoes.
ReplyDeleteOh Fairy Godmother, you appeared at JUST the right time.... MUCH LOVE AND GRATITUDE xoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI agree with you completely - if we weren't friends to start with, I don't see the point in trying to 'remain' friends.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, what about when you realise there's no chemistry, but you do actually still enjoy each other's company. In that case, whether it started with friendship or not, it has potential to develop.
Put simply, there are no rules. My analytical mind hates the living shite out of that. But that, it seems, is life.
And also, I know my friendships with gay friends are wholly more fulfilling than friendships with straight guys including an ex with whom the friendship grew to magic proportions but the relationship fizzled. (Disclaimer: in the meantime, the friendship has also cooled off to simple acquaintance, which is difficult and almost pointless to try to uphold while I'm abroad).
Long ramble! Point is, life is hard except when it isn't. You know?