I'm on the verge of a new hobby, I can feel it.
It makes me want to catalogue all the hobbies I have pursued in my entire life so that I can see the time, effort, money and equipment I have purchased and subsequently discarded when the next "shiny new toy" came along...
Should make for interesting reading.
1. Piano - age 5 to 18. Equipment: one piano. Hourly lessons weekly, one hour practice daily (theoretically), theory and practical exames yearly Time invested: 5,447 hours
2. Italian lessons - age 6 to 12. 2 hourly lessons weekly, one pageant annually. Time invested: 630 hours
3. Trampolining - age 12 to 14. Weekly lessons, regular competitions. Time invested: 104 hours
4. Linnet Girls Choir - age 14 to 17. Weekly 3 hour practice sessions. 2-week Japan and Hong Kong tour. Regular concerts and Eisteddfords each year. Time invested: 894 hours
4. Motorbike riding - on and off from age 12 to the present. 2 x Honda CB250s, Honda Hornet 600 and Honda CBR600F, complete with leathers, wet weather gear, travelling equipment, various after-market parts such as Pazzo racing levers, tinted screens and Staintune exhausts... Multiple trips and multiple biker clubs.
5. Surf boat rowing - one summer during uni.
6. Skiing, rollerskating, snowboarding, surfing and skateboarding... various times and ages in life, never invested in gear, but did many many lessons in all of them, or just hung out at skating parks
7. Improvisational comedy - been doing this for over 2 years now, have done levels 1, 2, 3, and 4 (long form), performed in various shows and done numbers one-day workshops with Bill Arnett (Second City), Cale Bain (Toronto improv), Ed Iliades, and Jason R. Chin.
8. Stand up comedy - just started a workshop.
9. Roller derby - just starting out... this could get expensive with not only skates, pads, helmet, but also the various costumes those girls wear... not to mention time invested in coming up with a cool Roller derby name...
In short, I've done a lot of things (some I haven't bothered listing, as they come and go so quickly) and I enjoy doing a lot of things.
Life's too short to be bored.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Mojo facelift
Right, bugger this for a lark, the recent R U OK promotions have given me a new found honesty, and I'm gonna come right out and say it.
I am currently suffering from anxiety and depression. I am struggling with the big fat "why is life worth it" question again of late. I have a lot of negative self-talk going on at the moment, and I am buggered if I know how to deal with it, as it's the same old questions turning over in my head, making me feel worthless as though I am a big fake, defrauding my loved ones into thinking I am this amazing person, when in my own head I am spiralling. I have been here before, I don't want to be here now, and I have limited resources to deal with it when I find myself here, which is why I tend to withdraw from real life and just exist online (Facebook, Twitter, blogging) as it takes less energy to fake it till you make it (in cyberspace, no-one can see you scream).
I don't get this all the time, not even most of the time.
But occasionally, like the last few weeks, Depression will creep up on me like a Ninja, envelop me in its ever-darkening cloak, then keep me submerged with lethargy and apathy until all of a sudden I'm awoken to its presence by its hyperactive twin, Anxiety, who will burst into my room with a shrill cry that sounds like nails down a blackboard, take my heart in both his hands and squeeeeze until I'm breathing from the shallowest part of my chest and my brain goes haywire.
That's where I found myself yesterday, as I sat in my Life Coach's office and cried for the first 10 minutes of our appointment.
I have started seeing a life coach because this rollercoaster of enormous highs and lows in my life has started wearing thin. It's great to get things done while things are going really well, and steamroller ahead putting more things on my plate, and I really do come across to others like I have a Midas touch with everything I do... until I realise I am heading for another trainwreck.
It's times like these when I sit down and re-evaluate everything I have going on, and realise that I have put my health back to the bottom of the list again. Things like eating well, getting enough sleep, moving more than simply walking to the bus stop to and from work each day... it's time to get these things kickstarted again.
Moving => breathing => better headspace
So, I'm gonna walk my Mojo back into town again. But, as "Coach" said yesterday, I am also going to be kind to myself. I'm NOT going to hit myself over the head with a huge training schedule, I am going to pick a few times a week where I can do something physically active, and also plan my daily meals a little better, instead of grabbing toast as I get to work, grabbing takeaway for lunch, in between coffees and sitting down an awful lot while doing a mainly sedentary job, while avoiding drinking my way through a bottle of wine of an evening while watching Project Runway!
Oh yeah, cos lately, that's what it has been like. It ain't a pretty picture.
I also need to brainstorm things that nurture me and strategies for warding off the brooding mentality. Like reading a good book (any recommendations?), scheduling TV time (rather than sitting in front of it all evening like a Zombie), painting my nails, calling a friend, reading a magazine, writing my comedy routine, sipping a cup of herbal tea in a cafe watching the world go by.... the possiblities are endless.
Baby steps. And one day at a time.
I am currently suffering from anxiety and depression. I am struggling with the big fat "why is life worth it" question again of late. I have a lot of negative self-talk going on at the moment, and I am buggered if I know how to deal with it, as it's the same old questions turning over in my head, making me feel worthless as though I am a big fake, defrauding my loved ones into thinking I am this amazing person, when in my own head I am spiralling. I have been here before, I don't want to be here now, and I have limited resources to deal with it when I find myself here, which is why I tend to withdraw from real life and just exist online (Facebook, Twitter, blogging) as it takes less energy to fake it till you make it (in cyberspace, no-one can see you scream).
I don't get this all the time, not even most of the time.
But occasionally, like the last few weeks, Depression will creep up on me like a Ninja, envelop me in its ever-darkening cloak, then keep me submerged with lethargy and apathy until all of a sudden I'm awoken to its presence by its hyperactive twin, Anxiety, who will burst into my room with a shrill cry that sounds like nails down a blackboard, take my heart in both his hands and squeeeeze until I'm breathing from the shallowest part of my chest and my brain goes haywire.
That's where I found myself yesterday, as I sat in my Life Coach's office and cried for the first 10 minutes of our appointment.
I have started seeing a life coach because this rollercoaster of enormous highs and lows in my life has started wearing thin. It's great to get things done while things are going really well, and steamroller ahead putting more things on my plate, and I really do come across to others like I have a Midas touch with everything I do... until I realise I am heading for another trainwreck.
It's times like these when I sit down and re-evaluate everything I have going on, and realise that I have put my health back to the bottom of the list again. Things like eating well, getting enough sleep, moving more than simply walking to the bus stop to and from work each day... it's time to get these things kickstarted again.
Moving => breathing => better headspace
So, I'm gonna walk my Mojo back into town again. But, as "Coach" said yesterday, I am also going to be kind to myself. I'm NOT going to hit myself over the head with a huge training schedule, I am going to pick a few times a week where I can do something physically active, and also plan my daily meals a little better, instead of grabbing toast as I get to work, grabbing takeaway for lunch, in between coffees and sitting down an awful lot while doing a mainly sedentary job, while avoiding drinking my way through a bottle of wine of an evening while watching Project Runway!
Oh yeah, cos lately, that's what it has been like. It ain't a pretty picture.
I also need to brainstorm things that nurture me and strategies for warding off the brooding mentality. Like reading a good book (any recommendations?), scheduling TV time (rather than sitting in front of it all evening like a Zombie), painting my nails, calling a friend, reading a magazine, writing my comedy routine, sipping a cup of herbal tea in a cafe watching the world go by.... the possiblities are endless.
Baby steps. And one day at a time.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Happiness: an obsession
I travelled to New York in my 20s, where I struck up a passing acquaintance with a French woman. We talked about life, the universe and everything (in other words, my kind of conversation). After our long and involved conversation she left me with these final words of wisdom:
"The most important thing in life is a penis."
Needless to say, I was a little gobsmacked and confused. Did she mean that you needed to be a man to get by in life? Did she mean that I, as a young woman, should pin my life goals on getting married? Did she mean that penis envy was at the heart of the feminist issues that prevented most of us forward progressive gals from getting the most out of life?
After ruminating long and hard (pardon the pun) over this conundrum, it finally dawned on me.
The advice had been lost in translation through her delightful French accent... the most important thing in life was, in fact, HAPPINESS!
The pursuit of happiness has been analysed, dissected, discussed, hypothesised, studied and deliberated upon. Surveys are conducted to determine how happy we are as a nation, as individuals, as demographics, any which way you care to chop up humankind and peer at it on a petrie dish.
The pursuit of happiness is even encoded into creeds, into national anthems, national psyches and an entire self-help genre has sprung from this sense of entitlement and pursuit of the damn thing.
I have spent a fair chunk of the last half a decade getting myself from a state of suicidal depression to the bouncing, joyful, lust-for-life attitude I currently display 90 per cent of the time. I was, for a long time, obsessed with this pursuit, and how it happens, and the whys, wherefores and how-to questions we all have.
If happiness is so important, what is the key to happiness?
Thankfully, yet another study has surfaced to satisfy my curious little mind.
According to new research, you can't blame your genes any longer, it is mainly your choice in partner and life goals that are the determinent to happiness. The study was done over 25 years, the only study to take long term tracking of happiness levels into account.
I found this fascinating. I have experienced some pretty low lows in my life, all within a very short period of each other, that tore me from my anchor in life, and sent me tail-spinning into a deep black abyss of pain. It was SOLELY my relationships with key family members and friends (although not, unfortunately due to having a great life partner, that was the reason I went on the spiralling journey in the first place) that re-focused me and my ability to set and maintain life goals. The first and most important of which being: stay alive long enough to make it worth living again.
The only thing that has improved my happiness levels since that time has been seeing my life goals come to fruition, such as doing improvisation comedy, being stable enough to maintain a great job again, prioritising friends and family, having friends and family who prioritise me in their lives (no matter how off-centre I sometimes get). Letting go of any kind of materialistic outlook (I know from experience how damaging that focus can be), and my happy partner these days is simply: myself.
My relationship with myself has only gone from strength to strength. I have allowed myself to grow, blossom and create room for happiness to come to me, rather than chasing it.
I journalled during my darkest hours. I sometimes read over those pages to see how far I have come, and it always brings tears to my eyes to see the journey from this end of the road.
I once wrote: "Happiness is like a butterfly. You can't chase it, so I have to just stand as still as I can and allow it to land on me."
RECIPE FOR CONTENTMENT
Key to being happy may not be in genes but in your choices by Amy Corderoy, Sydney Morning Herald, October 5, 2010 - 9:33AM
Have a happy partner
Don't be overworked or underworked
Prioritise family and community, and have a partner who does so as well
Don't be materialistic
Don't be obese
"The most important thing in life is a penis."
Needless to say, I was a little gobsmacked and confused. Did she mean that you needed to be a man to get by in life? Did she mean that I, as a young woman, should pin my life goals on getting married? Did she mean that penis envy was at the heart of the feminist issues that prevented most of us forward progressive gals from getting the most out of life?
After ruminating long and hard (pardon the pun) over this conundrum, it finally dawned on me.
The advice had been lost in translation through her delightful French accent... the most important thing in life was, in fact, HAPPINESS!
The pursuit of happiness has been analysed, dissected, discussed, hypothesised, studied and deliberated upon. Surveys are conducted to determine how happy we are as a nation, as individuals, as demographics, any which way you care to chop up humankind and peer at it on a petrie dish.
The pursuit of happiness is even encoded into creeds, into national anthems, national psyches and an entire self-help genre has sprung from this sense of entitlement and pursuit of the damn thing.
I have spent a fair chunk of the last half a decade getting myself from a state of suicidal depression to the bouncing, joyful, lust-for-life attitude I currently display 90 per cent of the time. I was, for a long time, obsessed with this pursuit, and how it happens, and the whys, wherefores and how-to questions we all have.
If happiness is so important, what is the key to happiness?
Thankfully, yet another study has surfaced to satisfy my curious little mind.
According to new research, you can't blame your genes any longer, it is mainly your choice in partner and life goals that are the determinent to happiness. The study was done over 25 years, the only study to take long term tracking of happiness levels into account.
I found this fascinating. I have experienced some pretty low lows in my life, all within a very short period of each other, that tore me from my anchor in life, and sent me tail-spinning into a deep black abyss of pain. It was SOLELY my relationships with key family members and friends (although not, unfortunately due to having a great life partner, that was the reason I went on the spiralling journey in the first place) that re-focused me and my ability to set and maintain life goals. The first and most important of which being: stay alive long enough to make it worth living again.
The only thing that has improved my happiness levels since that time has been seeing my life goals come to fruition, such as doing improvisation comedy, being stable enough to maintain a great job again, prioritising friends and family, having friends and family who prioritise me in their lives (no matter how off-centre I sometimes get). Letting go of any kind of materialistic outlook (I know from experience how damaging that focus can be), and my happy partner these days is simply: myself.
My relationship with myself has only gone from strength to strength. I have allowed myself to grow, blossom and create room for happiness to come to me, rather than chasing it.
I journalled during my darkest hours. I sometimes read over those pages to see how far I have come, and it always brings tears to my eyes to see the journey from this end of the road.
I once wrote: "Happiness is like a butterfly. You can't chase it, so I have to just stand as still as I can and allow it to land on me."
RECIPE FOR CONTENTMENT
Key to being happy may not be in genes but in your choices by Amy Corderoy, Sydney Morning Herald, October 5, 2010 - 9:33AM
Have a happy partner
Don't be overworked or underworked
Prioritise family and community, and have a partner who does so as well
Don't be materialistic
Don't be obese
Monday, October 4, 2010
Do your best... then get over it
Long time, no blog.
I've been sick, which always stifles my creativity. But the past week off work, stapled to my couch, coughing up lungs and getting rid of the lurgy that overtook my body with a speed and savagery of a Mongol horde has given me plenty of time to reflect on the use of "feeling sorry for yourself".
I don't want to sound all ranty-lecture-lady, but with illness comes far more limited patience with OPDs (Other People's Dramas) of which I have been subjected to a lot lately. I am a good listener, and a compassionate person, which is probably the reason people come to me for advice, sympathy or just a friendly ear.
But I must say that lately, there seems to have been a lot of dramas of the "mountain out of a molehill" variety, to which my response has been "just do your best.... then get over it".
What I mean by this is.... it's never as bad as you think.
Putting your life's dramas into perspective can be liberating; as that classic Casablanca quote goes "the problems of two little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world".
The only thing any of us can do is our best. Do your best in your relationships, your work, your self-improvement, your creative pursuits, your spirituality, your [insert aspect of life here]... then if it doesn't work out, understand that you have DONE your best, that most other people's reactions to YOU don't really matter, that their reactions are about them, and it probably isn't personal.
So, feel sad that whatever you expected to happen hasn't happened, and that you have been disappointed, then whack a sense of humour over the situation, put on a smile, and get over it.
It takes some practice, believe me. But it really works.
And, you'll feel better for doing it, trust me :)
I've been sick, which always stifles my creativity. But the past week off work, stapled to my couch, coughing up lungs and getting rid of the lurgy that overtook my body with a speed and savagery of a Mongol horde has given me plenty of time to reflect on the use of "feeling sorry for yourself".
I don't want to sound all ranty-lecture-lady, but with illness comes far more limited patience with OPDs (Other People's Dramas) of which I have been subjected to a lot lately. I am a good listener, and a compassionate person, which is probably the reason people come to me for advice, sympathy or just a friendly ear.
But I must say that lately, there seems to have been a lot of dramas of the "mountain out of a molehill" variety, to which my response has been "just do your best.... then get over it".
What I mean by this is.... it's never as bad as you think.
Putting your life's dramas into perspective can be liberating; as that classic Casablanca quote goes "the problems of two little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world".
The only thing any of us can do is our best. Do your best in your relationships, your work, your self-improvement, your creative pursuits, your spirituality, your [insert aspect of life here]... then if it doesn't work out, understand that you have DONE your best, that most other people's reactions to YOU don't really matter, that their reactions are about them, and it probably isn't personal.
So, feel sad that whatever you expected to happen hasn't happened, and that you have been disappointed, then whack a sense of humour over the situation, put on a smile, and get over it.
It takes some practice, believe me. But it really works.
And, you'll feel better for doing it, trust me :)
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Chivalry is NOT inherently sexist
I found myself reading Samantha Brett's blog today (I really try hard to restrain myself, but I was at home ill today, and had nothing else to read after scouring most of my online news sources, blogs and also exhausting my regular Facebook addiction)
Today's topic was "Is sexism still alive?"
The first comment was:
"Sure we want to eradicate sexism. But not as a consequence of killing off chivalry at the same time." - except that chivalry is inherently sexist.
Your problem is that equal rights and special treatment (e.g. chivalry) are mutually exclusive. Trying to gain both is a thing that children do.
I take EXTREME exception to the assertion that "chivalry is inherently sexist."
I view chivalry as the ability for a man to treat females well, in particular the special female in his life. It is an encoded way for men to cherish and respect women, and to demonstrate that they respect womankind as a whole... this is something of which we see less and less these days. In fact, we see rather more sentiments as the one above, which seem to portray women as nasty, shallow, superficial creatures trying to "have it both ways"... and I also see this echoed in the ways that men are portrayed by womens' comments on similar blogs.
In fact, I am very saddened to see both sexes trying to beat each other in their race to the lowest common denominator.
Chivalry, in its purest sense, should not be about treating a female as a lesser being, but showing her that she is cherished, as a representation of the Divine Goddess (don't laugh, people, I am being serious here).
That said, I would also love women to view themselves this way and to act accordingly. To respect themselves, to uphold their femininity, mystique and ability to be vulnerable and openness to their more tender sides. I know it's hard, as a women who exists in the corporate world where hardness seems more appreciated, with the ability to project independence seemingly paramount.
I would go so far as to flip this argument completely, and to say that it's like saying that female nurturing is inherently sexist. That a female's care and nurture of the special man in her life is about treating men as lesser beings, unable to take care of themselves. You see where I am going with this?
I am hoping for a return to a middle ground, where both sexes treat each other as both equals from a humankind perspective, but cherished for our differences... for our differences make up a stronger whole when added together.
Today's topic was "Is sexism still alive?"
The first comment was:
"Sure we want to eradicate sexism. But not as a consequence of killing off chivalry at the same time." - except that chivalry is inherently sexist.
Your problem is that equal rights and special treatment (e.g. chivalry) are mutually exclusive. Trying to gain both is a thing that children do.
I take EXTREME exception to the assertion that "chivalry is inherently sexist."
I view chivalry as the ability for a man to treat females well, in particular the special female in his life. It is an encoded way for men to cherish and respect women, and to demonstrate that they respect womankind as a whole... this is something of which we see less and less these days. In fact, we see rather more sentiments as the one above, which seem to portray women as nasty, shallow, superficial creatures trying to "have it both ways"... and I also see this echoed in the ways that men are portrayed by womens' comments on similar blogs.
In fact, I am very saddened to see both sexes trying to beat each other in their race to the lowest common denominator.
Chivalry, in its purest sense, should not be about treating a female as a lesser being, but showing her that she is cherished, as a representation of the Divine Goddess (don't laugh, people, I am being serious here).
That said, I would also love women to view themselves this way and to act accordingly. To respect themselves, to uphold their femininity, mystique and ability to be vulnerable and openness to their more tender sides. I know it's hard, as a women who exists in the corporate world where hardness seems more appreciated, with the ability to project independence seemingly paramount.
I would go so far as to flip this argument completely, and to say that it's like saying that female nurturing is inherently sexist. That a female's care and nurture of the special man in her life is about treating men as lesser beings, unable to take care of themselves. You see where I am going with this?
I am hoping for a return to a middle ground, where both sexes treat each other as both equals from a humankind perspective, but cherished for our differences... for our differences make up a stronger whole when added together.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Fill in the the blank: "Online dating is [blank]"
I lasted a week. Which is a pretty poor effort, I will concede.
I met up with one person, had phone conversations with another, and got to "online first base email conversations" with the rest.
Notwithstanding my very wise "Do's and Dont's" there was always something a little disconcerting about opening myself up to an undisclosed number of "anybodys" online and asking them to judge whether they'd like to date me.
As I said before, interest was high. But mine was not.
Not even for the comic material, I kind of felt sorry for some of the men who contacted me and within only a few emails were gushing about their affection towards me. Sincere or insincere? Desperate and needy? Lacking any social boundaries that you might display when meeting someone under "normal" (ie: non-date-expectation) settings?
Whatever the reason, my patience snapped when I got my final "kiss" from a man whose profile stated that his perfect partner "would love having sex with [him] for hours, and enjoy the sensual pleasures of [his] touch. Even when we are not having sex, we would bask together with each other in the afterglow."
Um.... riiiiiiight.
I appreciate that sex is a huge part of any relationship, but seriously...? Stating that on your profile? It just cemented the "ickiness" factor I had when venturing back into the online dating world.
So, that's it for me. I'm going back to the old-fashioned method of putting myself out there with people who are part of my 3D world.
It's so crazy, it just might work!
I met up with one person, had phone conversations with another, and got to "online first base email conversations" with the rest.
Notwithstanding my very wise "Do's and Dont's" there was always something a little disconcerting about opening myself up to an undisclosed number of "anybodys" online and asking them to judge whether they'd like to date me.
As I said before, interest was high. But mine was not.
Not even for the comic material, I kind of felt sorry for some of the men who contacted me and within only a few emails were gushing about their affection towards me. Sincere or insincere? Desperate and needy? Lacking any social boundaries that you might display when meeting someone under "normal" (ie: non-date-expectation) settings?
Whatever the reason, my patience snapped when I got my final "kiss" from a man whose profile stated that his perfect partner "would love having sex with [him] for hours, and enjoy the sensual pleasures of [his] touch. Even when we are not having sex, we would bask together with each other in the afterglow."
Um.... riiiiiiight.
I appreciate that sex is a huge part of any relationship, but seriously...? Stating that on your profile? It just cemented the "ickiness" factor I had when venturing back into the online dating world.
So, that's it for me. I'm going back to the old-fashioned method of putting myself out there with people who are part of my 3D world.
It's so crazy, it just might work!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Impro vs stand-up
I fell in love with an old flame last night, his name was Impro.
I have been flirting with various forms for about two years now, short-form (otherwise known as Theatresports) and long form (various Harold formats, Armando and others that I don't have names for) and have also been a dedicated viewer of all the improv shows that have burst onto the Sydney scene in 2010 thanks to some very talented people.
I have also signed up to a stand-up comedy workshop that starts in October, and will either culminate in a grad show or a knock-kneed me appearing at an Open Mic session.
I don't have any experience to make the following comparisons between improv and stand-up, but my feeling towards improvising is that it keeps you very much in the moment. I enjoy being reminded to live in the moment. When it works, you feel like you are creating something of beauty that is completely ephemeral, much like a Buddhist monk creating a sand Mandala, only to brush it away after days of painstaking creation. I enjoy creating something ephemeral, and I also enjoy not knowing what might come next, but that trust in your fellow improvisors to go with an idea is extremely addictive.
Whereas stand-up comedy is all about the writing process (which I understand will be what this workshop is about), and the delivery. You can have great material but completely stuff it up on delivering the punchline, or your timing might be slightly off, and you don't get the laugh. It's also repeatable, and indeed some stand-up comics can continue re-using their best material over and over again and people will pay to see them as they are such funny comic executors.
One comment I have had about my delivery of other material is that I have "no pride". I don't think his comment meant that I schlepp around in trackie dacks and don't shower for days, but more that I don't care enough about what other people think of me to worry about looking foolish. Some of my best moments in real life that have led to comic opportunities have come from my embrace of looking foolish or doing foolish things. In fact, that is where I am mining my comedy routine's content from... things I probably shouldn't have done... but did anyway.
There's rather a lot of material, actually.
Improvising is also about delivery, but the pros call it "committing" to a scene or a character. It's more about the intent behind the "offer", than the actual delivery of that offer. I have seen some brilliant fellow improvisers that simply stand there and deliver their "offers" with complete deadpan faces, and still be side-splittingly funny. Whereas that schtick wears a little thin if you are stand-up comic, unless your material is absolutely BRILLIANT.
I am looking forward to getting back into improv, and will be doing shows again as of this week. However, I am hella nervous but also very excited to "learn" how to write comic material, and to hopefully be able to deliver it well.
It is a huge risk, but life is about risks. And I am looking forward to seeing whether I can pull it off.
I have been flirting with various forms for about two years now, short-form (otherwise known as Theatresports) and long form (various Harold formats, Armando and others that I don't have names for) and have also been a dedicated viewer of all the improv shows that have burst onto the Sydney scene in 2010 thanks to some very talented people.
I have also signed up to a stand-up comedy workshop that starts in October, and will either culminate in a grad show or a knock-kneed me appearing at an Open Mic session.
I don't have any experience to make the following comparisons between improv and stand-up, but my feeling towards improvising is that it keeps you very much in the moment. I enjoy being reminded to live in the moment. When it works, you feel like you are creating something of beauty that is completely ephemeral, much like a Buddhist monk creating a sand Mandala, only to brush it away after days of painstaking creation. I enjoy creating something ephemeral, and I also enjoy not knowing what might come next, but that trust in your fellow improvisors to go with an idea is extremely addictive.
Whereas stand-up comedy is all about the writing process (which I understand will be what this workshop is about), and the delivery. You can have great material but completely stuff it up on delivering the punchline, or your timing might be slightly off, and you don't get the laugh. It's also repeatable, and indeed some stand-up comics can continue re-using their best material over and over again and people will pay to see them as they are such funny comic executors.
One comment I have had about my delivery of other material is that I have "no pride". I don't think his comment meant that I schlepp around in trackie dacks and don't shower for days, but more that I don't care enough about what other people think of me to worry about looking foolish. Some of my best moments in real life that have led to comic opportunities have come from my embrace of looking foolish or doing foolish things. In fact, that is where I am mining my comedy routine's content from... things I probably shouldn't have done... but did anyway.
There's rather a lot of material, actually.
Improvising is also about delivery, but the pros call it "committing" to a scene or a character. It's more about the intent behind the "offer", than the actual delivery of that offer. I have seen some brilliant fellow improvisers that simply stand there and deliver their "offers" with complete deadpan faces, and still be side-splittingly funny. Whereas that schtick wears a little thin if you are stand-up comic, unless your material is absolutely BRILLIANT.
I am looking forward to getting back into improv, and will be doing shows again as of this week. However, I am hella nervous but also very excited to "learn" how to write comic material, and to hopefully be able to deliver it well.
It is a huge risk, but life is about risks. And I am looking forward to seeing whether I can pull it off.
Friday, September 24, 2010
You’re never fully dressed without a smile
Something that’s struck me as odd in this whole online dating caper is that a lot of people put up pictures of themselves in the most unbelievable contexts (some specific examples I have come across include: sitting in a helicopter, at work in a factory, standing beside unbelievably expensive-looking cars, at exotic locations presumably on exciting holidays, drinking wine at a bar) and yet not one of them is smiling. There is something... unfinished... about them.
For a wonderful song illustrating what I mean, click here.
I love people who smile. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t. It doesn’t matter what you look like, whether you believe you are attractive, homely, short, tall, well dressed, shabbily dressed, got make up on, going bare-faced… if you have a sincere smile on your face that shows whatever you are doing is enjoyable, then you will ALWAYS be appealing.
Try smiling. Right now. Put down this blog and do some grinning. I will be here when you get back.
Go on.
See? How do you feel now? I’ll bet you even feel happier already. And all you had to do was pull the muscles of your face outwards and show some teeth.
A big, happy grin on your mug makes you more approachable as well. People will believe you are more relaxed, easy going, and will be more willing to strike up a conversation with you. As I have found, multiple times IRL as well as online. Mind you, this also means I get approached by people who could be considered a little on the fringes of society, but that’s alright. As long as you are not offensive or harmful, I’ll talk to you.
But, show me a picture of someone who is looking deadpan and serious in EVERY SINGLE ONE of their photos and I am likely to say “no thanks”.
S’all I’m sayin’, people.
For a wonderful song illustrating what I mean, click here.
I love people who smile. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t. It doesn’t matter what you look like, whether you believe you are attractive, homely, short, tall, well dressed, shabbily dressed, got make up on, going bare-faced… if you have a sincere smile on your face that shows whatever you are doing is enjoyable, then you will ALWAYS be appealing.
Try smiling. Right now. Put down this blog and do some grinning. I will be here when you get back.
Go on.
See? How do you feel now? I’ll bet you even feel happier already. And all you had to do was pull the muscles of your face outwards and show some teeth.
A big, happy grin on your mug makes you more approachable as well. People will believe you are more relaxed, easy going, and will be more willing to strike up a conversation with you. As I have found, multiple times IRL as well as online. Mind you, this also means I get approached by people who could be considered a little on the fringes of society, but that’s alright. As long as you are not offensive or harmful, I’ll talk to you.
But, show me a picture of someone who is looking deadpan and serious in EVERY SINGLE ONE of their photos and I am likely to say “no thanks”.
S’all I’m sayin’, people.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Date? Why thank you, I’ll take half a dozen.
So, I have ventured back to the world of online dating. I have done this a couple of times in the past, and run away screaming from the outcomes*. One date, as I recall, actually asked me not to blaspheme. Twice. Now, I wasn’t going Biblical on him, just saying something like “Oh good Lord!” in response to something interesting (or startling) he had just said. Another memorable date was the guy who asked me to wait for him at the pub while he did some market research to supplement his income… And I actually did... for 20 minutes. I do not kid, people. More shall be revealed about these dates in my upcoming comedy routine (do you like how I slipped in a plug there?)
*I didn’t actually run away screaming, because that would have been overly dramatic, but I did consider chewing off my arm during more than one date that was initiated via this medium.
“So, why”, I hear my erudite readers ask, “are you back online and running the risk of repeat experiences?”
I’ll be completely honest with you, because we're all friends here now! I have many male friends, but the last time I was actually on an actual, real, live date IRL** and not simply “hanging out” with mates was March 2010. Before that, it was October 2009. Before that… well let’s not dip into the realm of ancient history, or I might just fake-cry for sympathy.
**In Real Life, as we interwebby-denizens like to call the 3D experience our forebears once mistook for ACTUAL reality… you know, back in the days before all communications happened via email, Facebook or Twitter.
I will admit right up front, interest is high, but I am already having massive reservations about the whole thing. I am thinking it may just be the online equivalent to hanging a sandwich board on myself and standing in the middle of Australia Square, yelling into a megaphone “do you want some of this boys? Anyone? Any takers at all?”
In short, it doesn’t feel very classy. And the steps taken to getting to meet someone who you only know from a profile page, seem rather contrived. Not to mention, rushed. Whatever happened to taking one’s time to get to know someone before rushing into the “so what’s your phone number” question?***
***Some of my 3D friends don’t even have my phone number. It’s not because I don’t trust them, it’s simply not my preferred communication method. So why would I allow someone I have never met the ability to send thousands of text messages or calls per day?
So. Here is a list of my pros and cons of internet dating. Maybe by the end of this list, I will have convinced myself to go back to my garden-variety dateless way of life.
Pros
Opportunity to meet more people
You can rate someone's compatibility via their like/dislike lists
You have the ability to quickly search and find potential matches
You can quickly move on if bored
Cons
You actually have to meet more people
There are no guarantees of honesty
Time is needed to reply/evaluate/meet/repeat
I get bored easily
Hmmmmmm this isn't looking promising, but I'll stick with it for the time being. The problem is, if I am being honest with myself, that I can manage "all or nothing" situations very well. I have become really great at living a "good" single life, and I know I can be great as one half of a long-term committed couple. What I am not so good at is getting FROM one state to the other. I suck at dating and being wooed, and I also suck at break ups. (Which is probably why I don't have many exes in my current circle of friends.)
So, is internet dating going to help me get from single life to a relationship? Will time tell? Will I be patient enough to give it that time? Or will I be announcing the end of my profile days within days or weeks again, as I have before.
To keep me on the straight and narrow, I have compiled a list of Do's and Dont's in my approach to this whole shemozzle:
- Do have fun with it
- Don't take it all too seriously
- Do say "yes" to initial contact more often than I would IRL, give the guys a chance!
- Don't bow to pressure to reveal more than I would IRL (e.g. phone number)
- Do maintain control, have someone with me when initially meeting a prospective date
- Don't make the first date anything to do with a meal, coffee is fine for first impressions
- Do reserve the right to use any and all material in my stand-up routine, if dates should turn out as weird and wacky as past experiences
- Don't look gift horses in the mouth, if someone sounds wonderful, maybe he is
- Do give the benefit of the doubt
- Don't use boredom as an excuse to switch off, perserverence leads to great things
*I didn’t actually run away screaming, because that would have been overly dramatic, but I did consider chewing off my arm during more than one date that was initiated via this medium.
“So, why”, I hear my erudite readers ask, “are you back online and running the risk of repeat experiences?”
I’ll be completely honest with you, because we're all friends here now! I have many male friends, but the last time I was actually on an actual, real, live date IRL** and not simply “hanging out” with mates was March 2010. Before that, it was October 2009. Before that… well let’s not dip into the realm of ancient history, or I might just fake-cry for sympathy.
**In Real Life, as we interwebby-denizens like to call the 3D experience our forebears once mistook for ACTUAL reality… you know, back in the days before all communications happened via email, Facebook or Twitter.
I will admit right up front, interest is high, but I am already having massive reservations about the whole thing. I am thinking it may just be the online equivalent to hanging a sandwich board on myself and standing in the middle of Australia Square, yelling into a megaphone “do you want some of this boys? Anyone? Any takers at all?”
In short, it doesn’t feel very classy. And the steps taken to getting to meet someone who you only know from a profile page, seem rather contrived. Not to mention, rushed. Whatever happened to taking one’s time to get to know someone before rushing into the “so what’s your phone number” question?***
***Some of my 3D friends don’t even have my phone number. It’s not because I don’t trust them, it’s simply not my preferred communication method. So why would I allow someone I have never met the ability to send thousands of text messages or calls per day?
So. Here is a list of my pros and cons of internet dating. Maybe by the end of this list, I will have convinced myself to go back to my garden-variety dateless way of life.
Pros
Opportunity to meet more people
You can rate someone's compatibility via their like/dislike lists
You have the ability to quickly search and find potential matches
You can quickly move on if bored
Cons
You actually have to meet more people
There are no guarantees of honesty
Time is needed to reply/evaluate/meet/repeat
I get bored easily
Hmmmmmm this isn't looking promising, but I'll stick with it for the time being. The problem is, if I am being honest with myself, that I can manage "all or nothing" situations very well. I have become really great at living a "good" single life, and I know I can be great as one half of a long-term committed couple. What I am not so good at is getting FROM one state to the other. I suck at dating and being wooed, and I also suck at break ups. (Which is probably why I don't have many exes in my current circle of friends.)
So, is internet dating going to help me get from single life to a relationship? Will time tell? Will I be patient enough to give it that time? Or will I be announcing the end of my profile days within days or weeks again, as I have before.
To keep me on the straight and narrow, I have compiled a list of Do's and Dont's in my approach to this whole shemozzle:
- Do have fun with it
- Don't take it all too seriously
- Do say "yes" to initial contact more often than I would IRL, give the guys a chance!
- Don't bow to pressure to reveal more than I would IRL (e.g. phone number)
- Do maintain control, have someone with me when initially meeting a prospective date
- Don't make the first date anything to do with a meal, coffee is fine for first impressions
- Do reserve the right to use any and all material in my stand-up routine, if dates should turn out as weird and wacky as past experiences
- Don't look gift horses in the mouth, if someone sounds wonderful, maybe he is
- Do give the benefit of the doubt
- Don't use boredom as an excuse to switch off, perserverence leads to great things
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Coming out of the closet as a gay man
Warning: this blog is entirely tongue in cheek. If you ask me which cheek, I will merely grin and re-direct you to #9 on the list below.
I promised you tales of internet dating, stand-up comedy and random head thoughts.
This is a blog from behind Door Number 3.
It was triggered by a conversation I had this morning with my barista, who was nonplussed by an off-hand remark I made about being a “closeted gay man”.
Okay, I sense I am already confusing my readers and may need to back it up a little here. No pun intended. See? Already with the jokes.
Context: When a man starts chatting up a cute barista in a Surry Hills establishment, chances are he is of the mano-e-mano persuasion, and I am sure my gaydar was not off this morning as I assured my friend that he had definitely been cruised.
However, it cemented my realisation that, for some time, I have been closeted as a gay man, and that it’s time to emerge from the darkness and to wear my rainbow banner with pride.
Top 10 reasons why I could sometimes be mistaken as a gay man
1. I am clearly attracted to men (apologies to Brett, whose efforts to persuade me towards a life of Sapphic bliss, possibly for the benefit of entertaining him, have been met with stone cold indifference)
2. A large proportion of my inner circle are gay men
3. I know every showtune on the Broadway Top Hits of All Time
4. And can belt them out with flamboyance that would put Julian Clary to shame
5. I know who Julian Clary is
6. And most of his jokes
7. I have been involved in way too many conversations about “fancy love*” (a nod to Didey there, another closeted gay man if ever I met one…)
8. And have conversed loudly in public about it becoming an increasing trend
9. Double Entendre is my default conversation setting
Okay, so there were only 9 reasons. You will have to just toughen up, princess.
Oh yeah…
10. Underneath my very innocent, fresh-faced exterior lies the heart of a sarcastic bitch.
Any others that you can think of, feel free to add your own. I am sure others have been aware of my gay maleness for some time. Possibly even longer than myself.
*anal sex
I promised you tales of internet dating, stand-up comedy and random head thoughts.
This is a blog from behind Door Number 3.
It was triggered by a conversation I had this morning with my barista, who was nonplussed by an off-hand remark I made about being a “closeted gay man”.
Okay, I sense I am already confusing my readers and may need to back it up a little here. No pun intended. See? Already with the jokes.
Context: When a man starts chatting up a cute barista in a Surry Hills establishment, chances are he is of the mano-e-mano persuasion, and I am sure my gaydar was not off this morning as I assured my friend that he had definitely been cruised.
However, it cemented my realisation that, for some time, I have been closeted as a gay man, and that it’s time to emerge from the darkness and to wear my rainbow banner with pride.
Top 10 reasons why I could sometimes be mistaken as a gay man
1. I am clearly attracted to men (apologies to Brett, whose efforts to persuade me towards a life of Sapphic bliss, possibly for the benefit of entertaining him, have been met with stone cold indifference)
2. A large proportion of my inner circle are gay men
3. I know every showtune on the Broadway Top Hits of All Time
4. And can belt them out with flamboyance that would put Julian Clary to shame
5. I know who Julian Clary is
6. And most of his jokes
7. I have been involved in way too many conversations about “fancy love*” (a nod to Didey there, another closeted gay man if ever I met one…)
8. And have conversed loudly in public about it becoming an increasing trend
9. Double Entendre is my default conversation setting
Okay, so there were only 9 reasons. You will have to just toughen up, princess.
Oh yeah…
10. Underneath my very innocent, fresh-faced exterior lies the heart of a sarcastic bitch.
Any others that you can think of, feel free to add your own. I am sure others have been aware of my gay maleness for some time. Possibly even longer than myself.
*anal sex
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